Hey, what better way to attempt to conquer a fear than to write it down and make it a requirement? Yeah, I have a weird fear of eating alone. I don't even prefer to do it at a fast food restaurant if I can help it, but I have done it a couple of times in the past. What makes it even more unusual of a fear is that I have no qualms about going to a movie by myself. So why do I have a fear of restaurant "masturdating" but not movie "masturdating?" (Read that closely...and check out urbandictionary.com if you need a definition).
I think it all started when I began to bus tables when I was 16. I worked at a steakhouse then and shortly after a fine dining restaurant. And every time I saw someone eating alone, I immediately felt sad for them. I wondered if they didn't have anyone special (friends, family, a significant other) to join them. It never occurred to me that maybe it was by choice. Until I learned about this little old German man who came into the fine dining restaurant weekly. He always ordered a meal and then enjoyed coffee afterward. Sometimes he had a book with him but he was always at his leisure. I originally felt sorry for him too, assuming maybe he was was a widower. But then I found out from someone else at the restaurant that once a week he came in to eat, have coffee, and read by choice- because his wife had her own weekly ritual that she did without him as well. It was time for just "him" and having a nice quiet dinner is how he chose to spend it. It's been almost 10 years since I worked at that restaurant, and I finally went out to do the same thing. Sort of by choice, sort of by circumstance.
My job chose to send me out to Missouri for the state fair this year so I could run a booth to educate people about our college savings plan. I flew out on my own and spent a weekend (which will be another blog since that checks off #108 on my list - attending a state fair) in the mid west - my first time ever. On the airplane I met a woman who asked me where I was going and when I told her Sedalia for the state fair, she said I had to try Kehde's BBQ because they had amazing fried green tomatoes. It's a restaurant made out of an old train cart. I decided to be bold and instead of picking up fast food and bringing it back to my room, I was determined to check out this quirky restaurant and have some fried green tomatoes. So, I unloaded my stuff at the hotel and off I went to Kehde's.
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| I went at night so I had to steal this picture from the internet |
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I ordered the fried green tomatoes and their Posh baked (a baked potato stuffed with different BBQ meats, cheese, and green onions). It's funny because the tables just have a small walkway between them so the table next to me, a young couple with their daughter, started talking to me and asked me what I was going to order. So even though I was eating alone, I made "friends" and visited with them while they were paying their bill. The girl was actually born in Phoenix and grew up here as a child but has been in Missouri for awhile. They were nice people and their conversation made me comfortable sitting there, without a book or any other distractions. Just the enjoyment of my fried green tomatoes (which were amazing and I'd go back to the mid west just for those....I wonder if I can find anywhere that serves them in AZ?)
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| Inside of the train cart / restaurant |
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| SOME OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE EVER HAD FRIED! AND LOOK AT THAT POTATO! |
I ate somewhat quickly because I showed up about 5 minutes before the restaurant was closing and I didn't want to be "that jerk" but the experience made me less concerned about having a meal alone if I really want to go somewhere. I still prefer my meals out to include good company, but I think my previous fear of eating alone has been squashed. "Masturdating" at dinner = success. :)
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